We are watching Elf in my psychology class so I decided to get on a computer and blog a little. This week started out good. I starved all day monday. So proud. Then.. Tuesday. The christmas party. I failed so hard. I knew I was going to eat so I took laxatives right before. That's fine, but eating on tuesday ruined my whole week. I haven't been able to starve since. It sucks. I tried just throwing up after I ate, like I used too, but my body just will not do it. I could sit there all day long with my fingers down my throat and I'll just gag. It takes FOREVER to make myself puke. And when I finally do, it's only a tiny bit. No where near all of the food in my stomach. I don't know why. It's so dumb. I used to throw up after every single time I ate and it was easy. All I would have to do would be make myself gag and lean over a toilet. 2 minutes tops.
I ate breakfast this morning because when I woke up my stomach was killing me and I felt sick. SO DUMB. I should've just ignored it, but I'm starving for the rest of the day and all weekend. I don't even know what I weigh right now. I don't think I want too... I was 135 last time I check, but I bet that's all gone now. :/ I think if I succeed in starving all weekend (WHICH I WILL!), then I'll weigh myself sunday. I'm also gonna be using some diuretics will I starve. That way I can chug water every time I think about eating and not have to worry about water gain. Thank goodness for laxatives and diuretics. Life savers.
That's all for today.
SkinnySkinnySkinnylove<3
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