So much anger running through me right now. I know anger isn't good, but I can't help it. I can't leave it inside or I'll explode so my instinct is to take it out on the cause. Normally that's okay because my mom is usually the cause, but that's not the case here. I already took at a lot of it on the real cause and that was a mistake. I'm pissed of now, but I know I'll be over it later. I don't want to end a friendship over this but it isn't the first time the situation has happened. It happens on a regularly basis. It makes me so freaking angry. Makes me feel disposable. Like I'm on there when it's convenient for that person. In there for them always, but it feels like they are only there when they have nothing else to do. I hate feeling like that. Our friendship is probably going to end when the semester ends because we won't have a class together and that person's whole family hates me for no reason. Apparently I'm on drugs? Have they met their child? Seriously. One parent = Drug Investigator. The other = Sherriff. Way to fail at their jobs. It's not fair. I did nothing to them.
Well whatever. I just needed to vent.
Byeloves.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New Years
Woah. It's 2011 already? It doesn't feel like it. I spent the new years with one of my best friends, Haley. We were laughing, having fun, remembering old times. It felt just like any other night with her. The count down wasn't all that great, but we drank sparkling grape juice and jammed out to some awesome music in her hot tub. I couldn't sleep so I'm currently sitting on her roof, YES HER ROOF, waiting for the sun to rise. The first sunrise of 2011. I imagine it's going to be beautiful. I hope I'm not let down.
2010 was a crazy year. I can't believe it's over. I changed so much throughout it. If you went back and talked to the person I was in January 2010 and asked where I thought I'd be right now I would have IN NO WAY have been able to predict this. It's different, but I like it. In 2010 I was a cheerleader. I made friends, I gained a BEST FRIEND, I became a stronger athlete, I lost a lot of weight, I gained it all back. I lied to myself and I lied to my family. I fought with my mom, I ran away, twice. I became a better person. I found God. I lost Him, On purpose. I started this blog. I met Morgan and that completely changed a ton of things. I half way saved someone's life with Morgan's help. I lost cheerleading. I got straight A's. I became confident in school. I met an AHH-MAZING guy who I hope to be together with for a long time to come. SO much stuff happened in 2010, but it's 2011 now which means it's time for some resolutions. (:
2011 New Year's Resolutions:
1. Lose weight. A lot.
2. Get nothing below a B for the rest of high school. Shoot for straight A's.
3. Do well on my SAT.
4. Get back in shape for cheerleading.
5. Be a better friend.
6. Work out more.
7. Get below/stay below 130. Preferably below 120.
8. Write more.
9. Learn to deal with my mother so she'll quit screaming.
10. Get a job.
11. Get my license. (February 3rd!!!)
12. Get better at photography/submit some photos somewhere.
That's about all I can think of right now, maybe I'll come back and add more later.
Think Skinny my loves.
(: (:
2010 was a crazy year. I can't believe it's over. I changed so much throughout it. If you went back and talked to the person I was in January 2010 and asked where I thought I'd be right now I would have IN NO WAY have been able to predict this. It's different, but I like it. In 2010 I was a cheerleader. I made friends, I gained a BEST FRIEND, I became a stronger athlete, I lost a lot of weight, I gained it all back. I lied to myself and I lied to my family. I fought with my mom, I ran away, twice. I became a better person. I found God. I lost Him, On purpose. I started this blog. I met Morgan and that completely changed a ton of things. I half way saved someone's life with Morgan's help. I lost cheerleading. I got straight A's. I became confident in school. I met an AHH-MAZING guy who I hope to be together with for a long time to come. SO much stuff happened in 2010, but it's 2011 now which means it's time for some resolutions. (:
2011 New Year's Resolutions:
1. Lose weight. A lot.
2. Get nothing below a B for the rest of high school. Shoot for straight A's.
3. Do well on my SAT.
4. Get back in shape for cheerleading.
5. Be a better friend.
6. Work out more.
7. Get below/stay below 130. Preferably below 120.
8. Write more.
9. Learn to deal with my mother so she'll quit screaming.
10. Get a job.
11. Get my license. (February 3rd!!!)
12. Get better at photography/submit some photos somewhere.
That's about all I can think of right now, maybe I'll come back and add more later.
Think Skinny my loves.
(: (:
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